About
What have you experienced at church? Beautiful things? Difficult things? Things that make you laugh (or cry) still? Jesus Christ knows our difficulties. He understands coercion, church hurt, and spiritual abuse. He experienced these things in His faith community. Then, He overcame.
You may have noticed that some definitions of spiritual abuse blacklist entire faith communities. But, remember how Jesus ate with "sinners?" He kept everyone at the table, which is my goal here. See "Support" for inclusive resources for all faiths, "Blog" for personal stories of healing and influencing teen faith without shame, or follow me on Instagram @jen_forhealthychurches.
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- Jen
Hello!
​My name is Jen.
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I grew up in a loving, devout Christian home in Southern California. A true child of the 80’s, I was raised on beach trips, roller skates, 80's music, and so, so many family movie nights.
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As a child, I went to church with my family and I attended religious schools for twelve years. Church and school cemented my belief in Jesus Christ! But as I entered high school, my family switched congregations and I started a new school. When my relationship with Christ led me to a different church, what should have been a deeply personal experience became reason to shame me.
This continued in religious settings for three years. I was threatened I wouldn't graduate, locked out of my dorm at a retreat overnight, and publicly humiliated. It was difficult, but my Savior saw me through.
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In college, I embraced my new faith. But years later, compulsions to please my peers led to situational anxiety and fear at church. My Savior gave me resilience, but then things got complicated. My husband was called as lay leader of our congregation while our kids were teens. It felt like mini extensions of myself being watched and judged at church. As imperfect interactions piled onto my adverse experiences as a kid, I found myself unable to handle conflict at church. Frequent breakdowns destroyed peace. Then, my Savior led me to an evidence-based trauma therapy called EMDR through my church's social services. Getting to the root of my difficulties with Him by my side, helped me not to continue patterns of coercion with my teens. It's also given me a beautiful new normal. My Savior has healed my spiritual wounds.
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Today, I'm passionate about information that helps us influence teen faith without shame, prevent spiritual abuse, and heal with Jesus Christ. Outside of that, you can find me walking the beach with my husband of 30+ years, or playing board games with my adult kids. I also work with youth at church (for over 25+ years now!) See "Support" for evidence-based resources on everything just mentioned. If it's a friend you need, check out my blog for personal stories of healing.
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Your friend in hope and change and Jesus Christ,
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Jennifer Weaver
The Book
The Girl Who Dropped Jesus is my upcoming memoir that recounts beautiful, humorous, and difficult experiences within two faith communities at the center of my life for the last fifty years.
From childhood mishaps (like dropping Jesus in church and being shamed by a clergyman) to barely surviving a faith change at a religious high school, from mentoring my teens to coming to terms with my unresolved adolescence, when it comes to spiritual wounds, I've seen many. But my Savior has helped me heal.
